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Prominent Member
Joined: 3 weeks ago
Posts: 987
06/11/2018 6:15 pm  

Hopelessness seemed burningly alive,

the deep participation, every little sound,

   settling birds,

   agony of cats, 

   little waves,

   hiss of distance,

   twig fire.

 

With worry,

by being silent and 

by being near,

safety and warmth held

the evil out, brave against

dark music.

 

Watchful, dark creeping things, 

shadowy and dreadful, 

   called to him,

   threatened him,

   challenged him.

He stood up with terror.

 

taken from John Steinbeck's The Pearl, p. 55


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Member Admin
Joined: 8 years ago
Posts: 132
06/11/2018 7:34 pm  

Smart formatting on the page.  I really like the indented lines.

I wish there were a title.  Titles are very important to me.  

"hiss of distance"  the line that pays!


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Prominent Member
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Posts: 987
06/11/2018 7:57 pm  

You seriously need to get some friends.

 


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Prominent Member
Joined: 3 weeks ago
Posts: 987
06/11/2018 7:58 pm  

I dont know what twig fire means. But good poem


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Prominent Member
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06/11/2018 8:02 pm  

I like how descriptive it is and how well it flows but I don't know what twig fire is.


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Prominent Member
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Posts: 987
06/11/2018 8:09 pm  

Good job but you need to pick a better topic

 


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Prominent Member
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Posts: 987
08/11/2018 7:37 pm  

what is twig fire


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Prominent Member
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Posts: 987
09/11/2018 7:36 pm  

its very coral. love the attitude.


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Prominent Member
Joined: 3 weeks ago
Posts: 987
13/11/2018 8:17 pm  

is this talking about nature?


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