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Eminent Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 36
06/11/2018 6:15 pm  

Hopelessness seemed burningly alive,

the deep participation, every little sound,

   settling birds,

   agony of cats, 

   little waves,

   hiss of distance,

   twig fire.

 

With worry,

by being silent and 

by being near,

safety and warmth held

the evil out, brave against

dark music.

 

Watchful, dark creeping things, 

shadowy and dreadful, 

   called to him,

   threatened him,

   challenged him.

He stood up with terror.

 

taken from John Steinbeck's The Pearl, p. 55


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Member Admin
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 131
06/11/2018 7:34 pm  

Smart formatting on the page.  I really like the indented lines.

I wish there were a title.  Titles are very important to me.  

"hiss of distance"  the line that pays!


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Eminent Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 23
06/11/2018 7:57 pm  

You seriously need to get some friends.

 


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Active Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 6
06/11/2018 7:58 pm  

I dont know what twig fire means. But good poem


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Eminent Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 23
06/11/2018 8:02 pm  

I like how descriptive it is and how well it flows but I don't know what twig fire is.


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Eminent Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 21
06/11/2018 8:09 pm  

Good job but you need to pick a better topic

 


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Active Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 12
08/11/2018 7:37 pm  

what is twig fire


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Active Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 15
09/11/2018 7:36 pm  

its very coral. love the attitude.


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Eminent Member
Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 25
13/11/2018 8:17 pm  

is this talking about nature?


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